Emmett's Big Apple Adventure
by wordslinger
Summary: Emmett tries to get away with stuff, and things.


Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

* * *

Even though the sun was not shining, he was wearing sunglasses. It felt _more_ than appropriate. Why not wear them when everything was going absolutely perfect? Every little piece of his plan had fallen into place oh so beautifully.

The grin plastered on Emmett's face was comical to say the least. All of his sparkly teeth were visible; they were immaculate. He laughed out loud at the thought of being stopped by a random passer-by and asked about his dentist. Of course, he didn't have a dentist. He was a vampire!

His hands were jammed into his pockets, and he whistled. Not for any reason in particular. Like the sunglasses, it just seemed to be the right thing to do.

Tricking his family had been easy. Well, it would have been if not for Alice and Edward. Between Edward reading his thoughts, and Alice seeing everything he planned to do, getting away with what he had was an accomplishment indeed! It had taken Emmett months to work out this little trip to New York City. He'd juggled so many different aspects of his plan at once he was tempted to tell everyone just so he could brag about it. But, that would be stupid.

Not noticing much besides his own glorious mood and how the world looked through the dark shades, Emmett briskly walked down the sidewalk towards the nearest intersection. He'd catch a cab there so as to make a hasty trip to La Guardia.

When he reached the curb his arm shot out in the traditional way, and a yellow mini-van pulled up close to him. Still smiling, he hopped into the captain's chair and slammed the vehicle door shut. Suddenly the mini-van's ceiling lit up, the different sections twinkling like a disco-style checker board. The quirky cabbie turned around, and if Emmett's heart were still beating it would have jumped clean out of his chest.

"Holy fucking Christ! It's the fucking Cash Cab!" Emmett's voice was no less exuberant than a teen aged girl waiting in line for a One Direction concert. The cabbie relayed the rules to him, but he didn't need them. As a huge fan of the game show, Emmett knew the rules.

As the cab wound its way through the New York City streets towards the airport, Emmett played his beloved game show all the while smiling like a mental patient. It never occurred to him how unwise his actions were. How completely ridiculous he was acting. But most of all, how fatal this little game show could be to his well laid plans.

By the time the cab reached La Guardia, Emmett was feeling like a genius. He had a crisp new wad of cash in his pocket; the fact that he didn't even really need the money was utterly inconsequential. His head was still lost in La La Land even as he boarded the plane. In his mind, everything was perfect.

What could possibly go wrong now?

**Six Months Later...**

"Aw, come on Rosie, please? You never wanna do what I want. I sat through that awful movie about the crazy lady and her notebook, and that was like, _hours!_ You can't even watch a half hour game show with me?" Emmett gave Rosalie his best puppy dog face. His lips turned down into a pout and his golden eyes were wide like Sailor Moon. "Don't you love me?"

"Oh, god, Emmett, it's not that I don't love you. It's just that the things you want to watch are so moronic, and childish. Do you even remember your Buffy stage? That was torture for everyone here," Rosalie said to him as she fluffed her perfect blonde hair in the mirror. Again. Emmett sighed, and closed his eyes as he remembered watching Sarah Michelle Gellar jump around in her tight pants and tank tops, grasping that stake like it was Angel's...

"If you can find something else that's mutually satisfying-" Emmett was jolted out of his fantasies by Rosalie's words. _Mutually satisfying... _His eye brows rose into a wicked arch. "-and _not _porn-" her eyes met his in the mirror and his hopes were dashed. "-I'll be happy to watch it with you. But, I'm not watching that damn Cash Cab show. It's the stupidest thing on television."

Unable to persuade Rosalie or any other member of his family to watch his favorite game show with, he trudged into the den to watch it alone. He couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face when the opening sequence danced on the screen.

Emmett was so lost in the game show it never occurred to him that something could go terribly wrong. Which is why it was such a huge surprise to him when he saw his own body climb into the cab. His jaw dropped, and immediately he was clamoring for the remote. _Where was that damn thing?_

He leaped up from his position on the couch to better search, and that's when he saw them.

Edward, Alice, Rosalie, Carlisle and Jasper were all glaring judgmentally at him from the wide doorway. The remote he'd been frantically searching for was in Alice's tiny hand. She was tapping it on her opposite palm, scowling.

"New York, eh?" Edward's smug voice irritated Emmett. "After all the discussions we had as a family, even after Carlisle practically forbade you from going, there you are." His long pale finger pointed at a very excited Emmett on the television screen. An Emmett who was clearly unaware of the consequences of his actions. "I'm not quite sure what to say, Emmett."

Rosalie was not as... calm. Emmett avoided her eyes, he didn't want to see the open disgust he'd find there. "What the fucking hell, Emmett? When did you... _How?_" Even though he knew it was totally inappropriate, Emmett smiled when he thought of all his precautions to keep Edward and Alice in the dark.

"Very clever, Emmett. But, your child like tendencies did you in. Again." Edward's face was barely masking the irritation he was clearly feeling. "I told you I wasn't going to judge you for your obscene new hobby. You've gone too far, though. Street food is not for vampires!"

Emmett's shoulders fell forward. No one understood.

* * *

**Author's Note: This has not been beta'd, and I found it laying around in my Ministry of Unfinished Twi-fic. I'm pretty sure jkane180 had a hand in this at some point. At the very least she's pre-read it! Even though she knows I'm thankful, I'm still saying so!**


End file.
